At the Framingham Elks
at the Elks
the moustache count is high
all the wives are named marie
and the jackets say frank
on the shoulder
"fuck these new cigarettes
they go out"
"Fiya safety"
"id ratha burn down"
buncha good eggs here
drinkin in Framingham
"last week I was drinkin at O'Connells"
"They shut ya off dint they?"
"Oh yah"
Look, your phone is always
under your car seat.
realize that.
She's done with kids
yes she sounds like her motha
yes she sounds like Carol-Anne right now
but shes fed up
and if Johnny dont play her
fuckin song
right now
shes gonna lose it.
Everyone at the Elks is done
so done
fed up with Frrrriggin Obamer
fed up with modernity
and their cigs
right now.
But theyve got wingdings
and Baker Street just played
and its Trixie's 40th
and shes pahtyin
andthe theme is disco 70s
so they've come to the Elks
where she had her sweet 16
and met her hubby
theyve gut great antipasto
and blue ribbon babakew
pulled pok
and hutdogs with all the fixins.
Sweatshirt count is high
I am overdressed in all black
with a cashmere blazer
and marie's bangs are
glistening with product
but I've come to the Elks
with cigarettes that go out
because of the government
I do like pina coladas
and making love in
the dunes of the cape
but tonight im drinking
hahpoons and pronouncing
it that way
so the bartendress is more
comfortable
with my overall self
everyone else is deep into
captin and diets
and i sip a bit of
protestant whiskey
cause im culturally aware
and i know
many important historical dates
but the most important date
is tonight because tomorrow is the same
there's a man here who
im not sure is a midget (sean of course)
and hes covered in tats
and wonders
if ive ever been to the Villa
in Wayland
which he just needs in his life right now
his dogs name is murphy
and hes parents are trixie's neighbuhs
seans arms reach his kneecaps
but hes about 4'9
his dads a retired cop
and his brother in law
is named tom
theres some gambling afoot
the prize his turkeys
(thanksgivins next week)
his dad already won one
in a competition aply name
the turkey shoot
Bald spot count is high
as the lights are dimmed
and i eat wingdings
not because i want to
but because i have nothing to do
i only know phillis the exec chef
at the catering company
where i work tuesday through thursday
its a really hootin and hollering
irish american hooley house
hootenany with maybe one jew
and plenty of eyetalyuns
i am 25 which makes me
the youngest
and thats why i have come to the Elks
to be out of place.
mission accomplished
as i swig a fine beer
local as fuck and fuck local
im not hiding inthe corner
im just in the corner
because it prevents me
from being cornered
by the corny mothers and fathers
who introduce themselves to me
and drop their Rs
and ask if im from around here
which i deflect with stories about
washington dc and brazil
because the truth
would make them uncomfortable
as I should be uncomfrtable
but i am not.
but even so.
I leave the Elks
for the white collar
rich town of my youth
to pretend again
that my collar
is as blue as my blood
