I'm John Russell (a voicemail transcript)

I'm John Russell.
I'm John Russell.
I just hit my head, hard.
My head hurts, but I'm still John Russell.
I'm in love with Torie, Shipley.
And I'll do anything.
It doesn't matter what it is th–, that it is, you know,
It doesn't matter what it might take
I'm John Russell.
And uh,
I don't like things being explicit,
I like to be really–
I like my life to be like The Beatles wrote it.
I like it to be special.
Uh,
Nobody should really say anything, unless they're they're they're li- they're like
“John, who's equal to John Russell?... There's nobody.”
So, you know, praise the Lord, thank the God, um... the God of Gods, the Metagod, he's the god.
Who's alive and he says John Russell is the fucking, motherfucking shit.
Who cares? Nobody, except I'm Torie Shipley.
Except I'm–
You know,
Nevermind... that I said that about myself.
Alright.

NDW